


Serenade Scrap

by virusq



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Battle, F/M, Gen, Kink Meme, No Sex, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-18
Updated: 2011-05-18
Packaged: 2017-10-20 00:09:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/206702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/virusq/pseuds/virusq
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the heat of battle, Shepard belts out a ballad, much to the confusion of her squad.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Serenade Scrap

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Mass Effect Kink Meme.  
>  _"Shepard serenades his/her team in the middle of a firefight."_

Geth swarm the area, unhappy and hostile. It's always Geth and they're always unhappy about something. And they're always taking too-precise pot-shots at Shepard's face. She wonders, as she curses her assault rifle's heat-meter back into safer territory, what exactly they have against humanity. They certainly don't seem at all interested in distributing fire equally among her team mates.

"Hey, Joker." Shepard starts into her earpiece as an idea hits her.

The edge in the pilot's voice always manages to slip through the distortion. "Commander?"

She peeks behind her decaying cover to squeeze off a handful of shots. "Have I told you lately that I love you?"

His confusion is evident. "Uh, Commander?"

"Have I ever told you there's no one else above you?"

"...Not now, Commander."

Shepard stands and darts across the field to get closer to the enemy, diving behind a rock while Tali provides a healthy round of cover fire.

Mic still queued, the group can hear her heavy breathing, her swearing as she lands, and her voice amping up to a higher pitch to croon: "You fill my heart with gladness. Take away all my sadness..."

From across the fray, Garrus notably cocks an eyebrow-ridge at his commanding officer.

"Ease my troubles that's what you do..."

"Is this really the time, Commander?" Garrus reprimands.

Tali's voice adds, "Shepard, I don't quite understand this tactic."

"For the morning sun in all it's glory," Shepard belts, tone looping feedback into their headsets so loud that the Geth falter.

Distraction granting him the split second needed to snip two Geth out of commission, Garrus takes his turn to slip out from cover. The interruption works perfectly and he frowns.

"Oh," Tali states. "I see. The Geth are deriving our positions from our comm-chatter. Shepard's trying to confuse them."

"Unorthodox." Garrus relents, amused.

Shepard throws a grenade into a cluster of confused Geth, aiming for a very large and very angry turret. "Meets the day with hope and comfort too."

"Can someone get a fix on Shepard?" Joker teases, "Sounds like she's dying out there."

"You fill my life with laughter..." Three more Geth fall, clearing a path toward the Mako and their exit. In the distance, Shepard can make out the Normandy honing in on their pickup position. "....Somehow you make it better."

Garrus motions for Tali to make a break for the Mako, taking advantage of her distraction to obliterate two more Geth. Once she's safely to the craft, he nods to Shepard. "You coming or do you plan on power-sliding to victory?"

She grins, firing off more dispersed bursts of energy while she follows Garrus to safety. Climbing the Mako, she stretches out her arms in a grand gesture, shouting toward the sky. "Ease my troubles, that's what you do~"

Garrus's alien arm reaches out from the hatch and drags her in by the back of her armor as another volley of Geth lasers lance through the air she would have occupied.

Once picked up, her private channel crackles. "For the record, Commander," Joker chides, "I prefer AC/DC."


End file.
